


The Man Who Could Not Die

by Kefalion



Series: All About Harry [12]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Master of Death Harry, old!Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-31
Updated: 2013-08-31
Packaged: 2017-12-25 05:54:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/949414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kefalion/pseuds/Kefalion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is the Istar Pallando. The war of the ring is over and Harry joins Gandalf, Frodo and Co on the journy to the undying lands, he tells his tale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Man Who Could Not Die

They were leaving the Gray Havens behind; they were sailing into the golden sunset with a warm breeze filling their sails, making the sailcloth bulge. The waves were blue beneath the hull, the tips scrumming in white as they got farther away from land, the green hills growing distant but the good memories staying with them.

Gandalf gave a deep sigh as the shores of Middle earth disappeared behind the horizon. It was over. The long years of constant vigilance, hard work and waiting had at last come to an end.

He turned to the hobbit who was seated by his side and saw that Frodo was in a similar state of mind; able to breath freely for the first time in many years. As he filled his lungs with the salty air of the sea the burden that had weight his heart since he inherited the Ring from Bilbo eased slightly.

"Though your heart is heavy, Frodo Baggins son of Drogo I promise that you will find peace in the Undying Lands."

The company aboard the ship turned to the voice and saw a person who hadn't been with them as they embarked, sitting on the railing, his legs dangling free and the wind playing in his hair.

"Pallando," Gandalf breathed, taking in the sight of the person. The man or rather what looked to be a man did not appear as when the wizard had last seen him, but there was no mistaking those ancient green eyes.

The man on the railing was dressed in the clothing of the elves, a simple, pale blue tunic and brown leggings; he looked like a strong warrior in the prime of his life, the sword that was tucked in his belt added to the image. He was tall and strong, had greying black hair that fell to his shoulders, a kind face that was cleanly shaven and green eyes that like the eyes of the elves betrayed his age. This person sitting comfortably on the railing was no ordinary man.

"Hello Gandalf. It's been a long time," he said smiling, his voice pleasant yet gruff. "Nín rihen Artanias, it is a delight to once more gaze upon your beauty," he continued facing Galadriel who smiled in answer. "Celeborn, Elrond," he added inclining his head at the two eleven lords who bowed their heads slightly in return. He then turned back to Gandalf, a smile which held many feelings gracing his features. "I'm sure you are brimming with questions, Gandalf."

"Indeed I am. Pallando, where have you been?"

"Pallando?" Frodo questioned, before the two of them could continue. He knew that he had heard the name before, though he couldn't recall when and in what context.

"I would prefer to be called Harry, if it's all the same to you, young master Frodo. To answer your question, I like your friend am also a wizard. I do not know how much he has told you of our mission." His eyes grew distant, a melancholy frown appearing in the set of his mouth. "Five travelled east across the sea," he sighed; "only two will return."

"And I who thought it would be one," Gandalf said pointedly, his blue gaze sharp under the bushy eyebrows.

"And rightly so," Harry said with a slight bow of his head. "I have not given you any cause to keep your faith in me, old friend, yet I thought that you, the wisest among us, would be able to judge me well enough to know that no matter how dark things may appear, and no matter if any word came from me, I would never stray from my path or the path of the light, willing to give my all for our cause."

"You are right of course. I know you well, but I had to wonder. With Saruman losing his path, Radagast forgetting about the world of men in lieu of his animals and no word from you or Alatar, what was I to believe?"

"You were to believe what your heart was telling you. When the armies of the Dark were at their strongest and Frodo had passed from your sight, did you not look to your heart, believing what it was telling you when it said that he was alive?"

"I did."

"How do you know Gandalf was thinking about me?" Frodo asked, feeling a childish curiosity growing within him, something he hadn't truly experienced since leaving Bag End so many years ago.

"I did not know it the way you are suggesting, it is more a form of intuition that has come to me from knowing Gandalf for many, many years, I know his way of thinking."

"What was your mission?" Frodo asked. He had never thought much about Gandalf's origin or why the wizard did what he did. When he was young and lived the still life of a hobbit of the Shire the comings and goings of wizards had not interested him beyond the tales his friend was willing to tell and the marvellous fireworks that he might get to witness.

"We were sent to Middle Earth to make sure Sauron would never come back to power," Gandalf answered.

"This is true. Morgoth may have been imprisoned, but his servant remained here, and as long as the ring existed there was the threat of another rising, an event that came close to passing and one that would have been devastating if allowed to pass. We were five who were chosen to come back across the sea to lend our aid and give council. We were to preserve the freedom of the people's of Middle Earth."

The new wizard turned to Gandalf as he continued speaking. "We all had our parts to play and the scene of mine was not in the western parts of Middle Earth. What you seem to have forgotten, Gandalf is that there are nations and people beyond Mordor and Erebor. You know that I together with Alatar and Saruman travelled east and south."

"Yes. While I and Radagast stayed in the west you went on, though you never told me why, and later Saruman returned alone, unable to tell me what had become of you."

"Regrettable, but necessary. I had come to fear the growing darkness and had a feeling that two of us would be more susceptible to it than the others, afraid that I would only be able to trust in myself I refrained from sharing my plans with Saruman and Alatar, now I know that it is probable I made the right decision as they both fell from the light, though it saddens me that you had to be left ignorant as well."

"It saddens me as well, though I understand that you did what you believed to be for the best. We have a long journey ahead of us before we reach our destination. I would be obliged if you would tell me about your journeys since we last met and if you so wish I shall do the same."

Harry smiled, inclining his head. "Nothing would make me happier, though I think that for the benefit of our audience I shall start my tale in a time before we last separated."

The older looking man chuckled. "As you will, and I shall not be bored from hearing about it again, that is if our company is not adverse to the idea?"

"I would like to hear," Frodo said, a light shining in his eyes that made him look more like a child than a world weary war hero. His uncle Bilbo, though old now and looking it shared the same glow in his eyes.

The two Elf Lords and Lady Galadriel seemed to share the same sentiment, though they were far more reserved in expressing it. "We shall listen to your story," said Elrond.

"This world is young," the wizard began and he got several frowns at that. "To you it might not seem that way," he said smiling, "but I remember a time before the first song, before anything in this world had come to be. I was born in a different place, a world which started with light rather than sound. I was a man, a normal human, although I and a few of my people had magic, the ability to alter the world around us. Still we weren't all that different from other humans."

His gaze was far away, looking out over the sea which had taken on the colours of the sunset.

"I was like everyone else in what mattered," the wizard continued. "I was born, I lived, and I died. In the long run the things I did in life and the things I were destined to do mattered little, what ultimately sat me apart was a small event that came to change my fundamental essence. When I was alive three items of extraordinary power, power to great to be allowed to exist fell into my possession following a series of events outside of my control. Being the first person ever to take possession of all three something happened to me."

Harry sighed softly. "It was not until much later that I learnt of what had happened. While I was alive I never used them, I did my best to not think about them and in my afterlife they did not appear to have affected me either."

"What were there items?" Celeborn asked.

"They were known as the Deathly Hallows and were said to have been gifted to three brothers by death himself. A magical wand, more powerful than any other, a stone with the power to bring back the dead and a cloak of invisibility. Though they might not have been created by death, that legend might as well have been true for the power that lay hidden within the objects."

"So what happened?" Frodo prompted.

"Ultimately every world will die, the souls of the being that have lived in it will cease to exist, fading away from the realm they existed in after they died, their energy becoming free and ready to create something new. When it was time for the world I was born into to die and for my existence to end, it didn't happen. I along with the creator of all, God as I knew him, Eru or Ilúvatar as you know him, was left. The Hallows had changed something about my soul and I could not stop being. I was still there, lost in the darkness and silence, lost in the nothingness in the time between worlds."

Gandalf was frowning now. "You have not told me of this," he said.

"It doesn't matter."

"I knew that you were old, Harry, older than the rest of us, but I had not known that you came from the place before, having been here to here watch the awakening of the Ainur and to hear the first songs."

"It is not something I often dwell on. Age is not equal to power or even wisdom. I have learnt as I have existed, but in essence Though I was slightly altered for the new part I was to play in this world I am still a human wizard in essence and as such I can never be overly powerful and my mind is not strong enough to grasp many of the mysteries of the world and the existence."

"You are too humble, as you have always been," Gandalf insisted with half a smile. "Wisdom and power comes in many shapes and forms, and one sort should not be valued higher than the next. A truer spirit than yours I would have to be hard-pressed to find, it shames me that I would loose faith in you when I know you the way I do. I apologize if my disbelief has added to your ideas of not being enough, I did never suspect that you were any less than any of our kin and I should like to say that you are not."

Harry inclined his head, his dark hair falling down on the sides. "Thank you. However this should not be about any insecurity this old man might have. I was supposed to tell you a story."

"Yes, but the present might is of equal importance and an apology should not be made light of."

"It was not my intention. Now though, I continue my story. As we arrived in Middle Earth a thousand years into the second age with our mission clear it was said that we needed to travel the lands in order to keep the free people strong and able to stand against the darkness that was already beginning to grow. I knew that my path would not lead me to walk the lands of familiar lands of the west. Much as you have, Gandalf I walked among the peoples of the east and south. I changed my appearance as to better be able to give my council. The people of Harad, Umbar as well as the folk beyond the Wild Woods respect different things and if I came to them in the guise of an old man, no matter how I phrased my words I would not gain their ear, only their scorn and malice. These men, and also women, respect the power of the sword, the spirit of a warrior and a man like that they are willing to listen to."

The elf lords as well as the white wizard found themselves nodding, now knowing much about the men of these faraway places Harry spoke of they knew as much.

"I and Alatar travelled among them for a long time, becoming known to them as warriors of might and men of wisdom. I know not what event passed to make Alatar sway in his faith, it happened long ago now, so long before the war was once more stirring. I believe Sauron somehow got to him and what passed scared him into believing that the dark would ultimately win and it was only by subtly helping that we would be able to in a distant future find a way to fight back, but until then we should do our best to simply stay alive."

"It reminds me all too much of Saruman," Gandalf said with a sigh.

"Yes," Harry nodded. "I have heard of his downfall since my return to the west and I realize that their tales are similar, though Alatar was never allowed to stew in his fear long enough for it to evolve into anything resembling madness."

The black- and gray-haired wizard brought something out of a small pouch hanging by his waist. At first it looked to be nothing other than a small stick, but as it was held out in front of him it grew until it had transformed into a staff of pale gray wood. It was slim and smooth, not a single twig mark disturbed the lines in the wood. The end made it resemble a primitive spear as a rough stone was bound to it, but yet it was like no spear ever seen. The line that bound the stone was made of dark leather, which was bound tight and the rows fell tightly next to each other making it appear to be a single entity. As for the stone it was a deep purple with an inner light.

Harry held it out for Gandalf to take.

"He is dead then?" Gandalf asked taking the staff, which the others gathered had once belonged to the other so called blue wizard, Alatar.

"No," Harry said, with a light shake of his head. "When his plans came to my knowledge I confronted him and tried to make him regain his faith. It could not be done. He had yet to help the enemy or give him any information so what I choose to do was to take away his staff and his powers exiling him to by the eastern sea. I am not happy about what I had to do. He became very alone there. I visited from time to time, trying to speak with him, to see if he might not come to his senses once more, but fear clouded his mind and he sought solace in the very rock of the earth, becoming more and more still for each passing year, sitting by the edge of the ocean until he could no longer move. The last time I went there he had turned to stone, standing in the surf as the waves lapped at the edge of his robes."

"It is a sad fate," said Lady Galadriel gently. "I would not have seen it befall Alatar, but you did the best you could by him Harry, I hear the regrets in your words and I believe that if there was anything more you could have done to help your friend you would have done so. You kept him from bringing any harm to our world and the Istar I once met would have thanked you for it."

"Thank you, My Lady. Your words eases my guilt, but I will always carry my regrets and the questions of if I've chosen another path might things have turned out differently? Just as I shall always regret my part in the creation of the darkness in this world."

Gandalf startled, the elves shared glances and Frodo frowned.

"Harry, you cannot possibly still blame yourself for what happened with him, with them."

"Eru didn't create evil. He didn't create discord or blacken the fabric of reality. It was the beings of his creation that made it appear in the world and it should not have appeared here so soon. But in me was carried the memories of wrongdoings, of hurt, betrayal and everything that is ugly. I know in my very being that had I not been here Melkor would not have had those thoughts as the first songs were sung. Evil may have appeared on this world at a later, but its early entry is something that can be traced back to me. That the very foundation of this world is not absolutely harmonious is my fault."

"You cannot be blamed for being who you are," Gandalf said sternly, that the other being was his senior in age and experience did not dissuade him from gently scolding his friend. "I should not have to say it again, Harry, you are a being of good. We all have imperfections and it is not your fault that your memories hold less than complete beauty and peace. We are all of free will meaning that he had a choice and you cannot put his fall from grace on your own shoulders."

Harry sighed. "I remember a tale from my old world, of the first two humans. They lived in paradise and were free to do whatever they wished. The only thing Eru forbid them to do was to eat the fruit of the tree of Knowledge. One day a snake persuaded the woman to eat the fruit even though Eru had told them that they should not. When she and the man did so they gained knowledge, but also shame and mortality. I'm not saying that I'm either the fruit or the snake, but I say that to choose you have to be given a choice and that was what my existence provided. I have come to terms with my part in it all, but it is still something I will always regret."

Harry flinched a bit when a hand was placed on his knee, he had been lost in his thoughts, closing his eyes as he spoke of memories so old it was a miracle he could still recall them. He looked down and saw that it was Frodo who had placed a comforting hand on his leg.

"Maybe it will never be alright," the hobbit said quietly, "but I must believe that time and peace can mitigate any wound. These events lie in the passed. They were things you never meant to happen and from your story I can tell that you've dedicated your life to making what went wrong as right as it can be. That I think is enough."

The wizard smiled. "Thank you, Master Frodo." He looked up and saw the others smiling at him, the light of the red horizon where the sun had set below the waves shining in their eyes. "If you please I shall continue with my story, we are nearing the end of this condensed telling."

"I would like that," the hobbit said, "and one day I should like to hear it in its fullness."

Harry inclined his head. "As I was saying, I was walking through the eastern and southern lands, becoming well known and respected in my quest to make my teachings heard. I gained many a name along the way, some less flattering than others,  _Prophet of Woe,_ some professed to call me thinking me the bringer of ill tidings and they would of course be right. However there were many leaders who took my words to heart and later their descendants followed the same teachings. Though I could never persuade them to join forces with the men of the west I was able to dissuade the majority from joining in with the armies of Sauron. My part in the war might not have been a large one as I never interfered directly, but I like to think that I kept some of the trouble off your backs."

"I confess that I was surprised to hear that the armies of the South supporting Sauron were no larger," Lord Elrond said, "I know understand why. Your actions might very well have made certain that what odds we faced only were overwhelming instead of utterly undefeatable."

"Then I am pleased." Harry jumped down from the railing where he had been seated for the duration of the story. He drew he sword, the blade shining in the twilight. He gave a crocked smile and dropped the sword overboard. "I shall need it no more," he said. "This fight is over. It will be good to come home."


End file.
